In October of 1988, President Ronald Reagan declared October Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month and he made the following statement:
“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.”
Did you know that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in loss? That’s an indescribable amount of pain and grief. That’s an ocean’s amount of tears. I never knew that so many other women experience this pain. Seriously, when we lost our second little babe, I thought I was all alone. And because I deal with things by talking about them, I learned that so many other people have also gone through this. Too many people!
If you are currently going through loss or have before, please know that you’re not alone. Also, click that image above to be taken to The Morning. There’s community, info, and plenty of resources to help you walk through these hard times.
I’ve been open about my miscarriage and I don’t want anyone to do that alone. It’s too hard, too dark, and too emotional. But that doesn’t mean it really gets easier. With the loss, comes a lot of other losses. Baby snuggles, baby smiles, all the future milestones. It’s not a simple thing. It’s not something that anyone should be expected to move on from.
If you haven’t yourself experienced loss, I’m so thankful for that. So very thankful! But if you have a friend that has here’s a few ways to help her through it….
- Let her talk about it
- Let her cry about it
- Remember her due date or the baby’s birthday
- Go to brunch
- Bring her dinner
- Check on her.
- Let her know that you also have not forgotten about her child.
In my personal experience, not being alone is the only way to deal. A friend sent flowers to me on our babe’s due date. Another friend once leaned over in church and said that she wanted to let me know she remembered my child. These simple gestures are easy to do for others and mean so much. If you know someone that has had a loss, let them know they aren’t walking through it alone.