Miscarriage: When Everyone Else Moves on, But You Can’t.

Miscarriage.  It’s not something that you deal with for a day, or a week, or a time frame that I’ve yet to discover. 

If you’ve shared about your miscarriage, people ask how you are, talk to you, check on you, and pray for you.  Until they move on.  And I’m not saying there is anything wrong with them moving on, but how do you deal with everyone else moving on when you’re still in it?

Things That Have Helped

• Denial.  Sort of an out of sight, out of mind thinking.  I’m not sitting here dwelling on the fact that I lost my baby, but little reminders of that loss are everywhere.  So sometimes, I just ignore it all.
• Prayer. A few years ago, I was at a conference and met Jane Johnson.  She has so many qualities that I was dreaming of learning from her, but I learned more about prayer and bible study than anything to do with photography.  She talked about prayer journals and I tried it.  Years and tons of journals later, I still write.  I write scripture. I write prayers.  I write my thoughts and feelings.  It’s been so helpful for my spiritual growth and my sanity.
• Friends. I didn’t know that so many of my friends have also gone through this hurt.  They have been amazing support!
• Husband. He’s the strong one.  And I lean on him.
• My Little Boy. I’m so thankful for the chaos of having a toddler that my mind is focused on him and the blessing that he is.
• Faith. I know without a doubt that my angel baby is wrapped in the arms of Jesus.  Never to feel any pain or know the hurts of this broken world.  That is the most reassuring and positive thought that I can have.  How blessed am I to know that my child was called by God to never know pain and only know unconditional love?!?

So what will help you?  If you need some support, please get some.  No one should have to go through this alone.  And I mean the first day, the first month, or whatever…..never feel like you’re alone with this.

If you have a friend that you know has suffered through the loss, don’t forget to occasionally check to see how they are doing! It will mean so much.